Proper Way of Converstion with the Family
A dialogue is the best way for family member’s to open up with each other. Dialogue should be learned properly among the family to create a feeling of peace, understanding and warmth. If you think that lecturing your children is the same as having a dialogue, you are definitely wrong.
When you are lecturing, you are only creating a barrier between you and your child. Creating a barrier is only one of the problems. Some children will develop low self esteem because of continuous lecturing. Some parents will make their children feel wrong, stupid, disappointed, and just plain bad when being lectured.
We all agree that sometimes when a child has done wrong, lecturing should be done. But to make lecturing someone a part of your daily conversation with him or her, can definitely damage a psyche of a kid growing up. A kid is a person who has dreams and hopes of becoming great. When the kid’s psyche or belief in himself has been destroyed because of total pessimism, what could happen to him or her?
Aside from self esteem issues, here are some more problems that could develop if lecturing a kid becomes habitual and a lifestyle: Lowers grades because of performance anxiety, losing trust towards the parents, siblings or other people, and avoiding the family once he or she leaves the household.
Some parents tend to act that way because they want us to be like them. They tend to lecture us and program our minds in a way to think like them. They do not know though that they are already damaging their kids.
What should be done is practice a fun and safe conversation. When a person open’s up to another person, he or she risks his or her emotions, thoughts and ideas. When a person is criticized on the following things, he or she will obviously feel disrespected. Instead of criticizing, you should just listen. Listening can develop trusts. You do not have to necessarily agree with the view of the person. You would only need to show that he or she has the right to think their own way.
You would definitely not like a family more focused on criticizing one another. If you already live in one, try to build a lifestyle away from it. Educate your parents even though it may be hard. Try joining or having family councils. Being able to dialogue should be one of the centerpieces of your family. Dialogue should be fun and without fear of criticism.
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